by administrator | Feb 23, 2018 | blog |
February 23, 2018 Love’s Law of Inertia Audio version- https://chirb.it/P82bOg A couple had come in several weeks ago wondering what had happened to their relationship. After I got them to stop pointing fingers at each other, we began to explore what had gone off course after more than fourteen years of marriage. They really wanted to make it work. Newton’s First Law of Motion states that an object will remain at rest or move at a constant speed in a straight line unless it is acted on by an unbalanced force. His “law” even applies to relationships. Relationships follow the law of inertia. Yellen’s First Law of Emotional Inertia states, “A relationship at rest tends to stay at rest, while a relationship in motion continues to stay in motion and grow.” Simply put, their relationship remained linear and “at rest” and did not grow because they did not apply any positive force to it. It remained a straight line, not a learning curve. What happened? They had put all their energy into becoming financially secure and to raising their two children. They had put almost zero energy, “force”, into their relationship. They grew apart. They stopped having fun together, no longer doing the very activities that had brought them together in the first place. We needed to infuse the relationship with new and exciting energy, which was a combination of what had brought them together in the first place and a few new things they had learned along the way. In reality, a relationship is much like a living, breathing organism. It needs to be nourished and cared for, or...
by administrator | Feb 19, 2018 | blog |
February 18, 2018 My Heart Is Broken Audio version- https://chirb.it/Dyze19 One of the questions that came up this week regarding relationships was this – “Is there really such thing as a broken heart?” The answer is that the heart is not broken in the literal sense, but absolutely, yes, it’s a medical condition. It often occurs after either a hard breakup or the death of a loved one. It is particularly dangerous to people over 55 and occurs more in women than in men, but symptoms can appear at any age. Medically, it is called takotsubo cardiomyopathy (TTC) and was discovered in Japan in the 1990’s. It is often mistaken as a heart attack because of the similarity in symptoms – shortness of breath, chest pain, palpitations (irregular heartbeat). Due to stress hormones there is a weakening of the left ventricle, the chamber of the heart that pumps blood out to the body. It can last up to about three months. Just because of the common name, Broken Heart Syndrome, it should still be considered a medical emergency because it can lead to further serious complications. It needs to be checked out by a doctor. The simple idea that “you’ll just get over it” can be dangerous advice. Yes, most people go through Katherine Kubler-Ross’s stages of loss – Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance – but for some the loss creates an actual medical condition. Depending on the severity, it can be treated with medication if necessary. If you or someone close has experienced a hard breakup or the death of a loved one, the best advice is to...
